Wednesday, April 14, 2010

What's Happening in Bronson Baseball!?

Blue Vajayjays
Scouting Report: His whole offense is on fire! I predicted BV to finish in the top three and he's looking great thus far. The scary part is that his best offensive player outside of King Pujols has done nothing so far. (Zimmerman). So, my logic is when his other players begin to crash Zimmy will be there to balance things out.
Pitching wise, things are looking great. Injuries is the only thing slowing this team down.

Jefford Nation
Scouting Report: I did say that Jefford had the potential to be top 3 and he's obviously showing just that.
The pitchers have figured out Borbon, I can see him getting sent back to Triple A for more seasoning. Plan 1A, i.e. Scott Posednik, seems to have made up for it in the mean time. He's on pace to shatter Ted Williams .406 average one week into the season! Here's hoping he can break it! :)
Pitching wise, it's Kevin Gregg time baby. Enjoy the beautiful stats while they last because logic would predict if he couldnt hack it in the NL, he's going to get eaten alive in the AL East. However, as a Jays fan, I hope I'm wrong and he keeps up the amazing pace.

Ravishing Rick Bo
Scouting Report: Who would have thought the most feared power/speed combination in the land would lay a big fast goose egg the first two weeks into the season?
Does Alexi Ramirez have any stats at all? Who would have thought Napoli would only have nine at bats? Someone should give Ortiz and Arod some HGH, errr, vitiamins, to get them over the himp.
Pitching wise, holy, holy,cow! Every amazing start is on this team. If his offense can turn the corner and his pitching keep 80% of this pace, I'm *&$^#! in our three way bet with Mannywood.
Will Brett Anderson give up a run this season? Will Garza win the Cy Young? Is Grienke the best pitcher on the planet? Enjoy the run Ricky!

Los Hernandez-ez
Scouting Report: My preseason favourite is letting me down so far. His hitters are mashing (I for one thought Cruz would hit 40 homeruns this year if he managed 500 at at bats) so far. Vernon Wells with 5 ding dongs! Sweet! Something tells me that Jay Bruce might hit more this season (and I drunkenly bet Jefford and McMahon in the Falls) so we'll have to wait and see.
Pitching wise, your boys are just warming up. You still have a lot of points on the board that you'll obtain as the months go on. Sure fire top 3 finish if he stays healthy.

Scouting Report: The offense is doing pretty much as I predicted. I think this teams hits about .290, leads the league in runs and steals and is desperate for ding dongs and slightly below average in RBIS.
You heard it hear first: Polanco for MVP! Pitching wise, the team is strugggggling.
Santana can't beat the Nationals, and his army of relievers are getting shelled. He's pretty confident his ERA will be a run lower in 30 days.

Choo Choo Train
Scouting Report: Right where I predicted the club sandwich to fall. Very consistent, good in all areas, weak in none.
Speaking of Choo, he's been on fire, ditto for Jon Rauch. (5 saves!)
I'm currently taking bets on the over/under on when Gonzalez loses the closer gig. I say before May 1st.

Scouting Report: His offense is about what it should be, and getting Kinsler back next week should be a huge bonus. If De La Rosa follows up on his last performance that would be a huge bonus for this K starved roto staff.

The Brew Crew
Scouting Report:
Having Aaaron Hill land on the DL was no fun at all but riding Renteria's hot streak has eased the pain a little.
I'm also wondering, like you, when Jason Bay, who lasted way too long in our draft, is going to start knocking some runs in.
Pitching wise, these boys are loaded for the long run. Picking up Mike Leake could be a sneaky pay off. The 8th overall pick in the 2009 draft went 16-1 in college last year with more than a strikeout per inning and a whip well below 1. His control his much, much, better than his first start displayed. His stuff is average, but his control, when not super nervous, is well above the norm.

Hairy Dingerz
Scouting Report: Hairy, listen to me. Things are going to be okay. I really like your roster. Your hitters are struggling, but they'll come around. I love your pitching and you have help on the way come a late May/early June call up from Mr. Baseball, S.S.
I see you with over 70 points by May 1st. Take a deep breath!

Mannywood 2010
Scouting Report: Parkie, I should apologize. I don't mind your team and just like teasing you 'cause it's fun and i can. I also didn't mean to jinx you by saying if Brian Roberts went on the DL your season was over. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery!
Pitching wise, Roy Halladay is terrible. If you want to get rid of him, I could find a spot for him on my bench. Don't fret about Gallardo, he'll rebound. Also, don't panic with Jay Bruce...he's 0-17 but he's going to rebound and 'rake' at that ball-park. The last thing you'll want to do is get happy feat and trade him for a 37 year old closer with bad K's, WHIP, ERA etc. Give him two weeks, all will be well!

Smell The Glove
Scouting Report: There must be a lot of parity so far because your roster isnt struggling too bad and you're not getting any points.
That Ryan Howard guy is under-rrated. He called me this morning (we bonded during our championship run last year) and is really pissed off he is DHing. Quote, unquote "I'm Ryan Fucking Howard. He has some 30 year old duche bag rookie playing first base instead of me? Fuck that. I'm going to hit .240 for the rest of the first half and run his average into the ground. Smell that bitch, that will teach you!"
I tried to calm him down but he's really pissed off. I suggest trying to smooth things over!

Scouting Report:
Cheer up, things are looking positive. Your pitching will improve a lot, so just hang in there.
Chris Young, Dan Uggla, and Mark Reynolds on the same roto team!? I'm predicting a new record for worse average of all time. Somewhere, Ravishing Rick is smiling because is BA just started to look a whole lot better. Happy digging!

Fear Franchise-


  1. "Very consistent, good in all areas, weak in none."? I have 1 point in three pitching categories and 1.5 in another. What's gonna happen when The Choo-Choo Train's hurlers start dumping coal on the fire?

    Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga...

  2. Thanks for the advice on Franklin - but wasn't it you that kept a 43 year old closer who blew two saves??? Nice save from Franklin last night...